How To Know The Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust?

I'm Sharol and this is my first article to Coondapur.com & in this I'll be writing out few tips to have a strong relationship. Here is a post which is a collection of various tips which I came across while browsing, & some of them are of my own experience.
Lets start then..

Whether you're in a relationship already or whether you're admiring someone from afar, sorting out your feelings can be a real challenge.
While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction clearer for yourself. Follow these tips to help yourself to know the difference between love, infatuation and lust.

Photo Credits - Stuffkit

Part 1: How to Recognize True Love

    Examine whether you treat the object of your interest as a person or a thing. You care for this person even knowing his or her faults. You are committed to sticking together even through the most difficult circumstances. You can tell this person anything about yourself, even if the truth doesn't flatter you, and you know that your partner will accept you.

   Evaluate how secure you feel. You know that your partner will stand by you no matter what, and you are prepared to commit to your partner for the rest of your life.

    Think about how long you've been in the relationship. You have known the person for a long time, and you can't imagine life without him or her.

    Observe how sex affects your feelings. After you have sex with your partner, you feel closer to him or her. For you, affection and post-coital cuddling are just as important as sex, although you love to keep the flame alive.

    Analyze the way that you're thinking about the other person. Something funny has happened to you at work, and you can't wait to tell your partner. Alternatively, you've had a bad experience, and you want to talk to someone who will understand. If your partner is the first person that you think about when you want to share your innermost thoughts, then you may be in love.

    Look at how you handle conflict. When you have an argument with your partner, you keep working until you're able to find some common ground. No argument can erase your commitment to one another, and you appreciate your partner speaking the truth even when it's painful.

Consider your feelings about moving the relationship forward. You feel comfortable with your partner, and you feel a strong bond of trust. Moving in together or getting married feels natural and logical.

Part 2: How to Know if you’re Infatuated

    Examine whether you treat the object of your interest as a person or a thing. When you experience infatuation, your mind is consumed by thoughts of the other person. You're thinking not only about the other person but also about how you want to reveal yourself to the other person. You have an idealized vision of what this person is like, and your vision may or may not be accurate.

    Evaluate how secure you feel. Instead of feeling secure, you are thinking more about how to impress the other person. Your focus is on how to get the other person to like you, and you feel nervous because you don't know how the other person feels.

    Think about how long you've been in the relationship. Your relationship is pretty new, and while you're constantly thinking about the other person, you're not confident that he or she has what it takes to go the distance.

    Observe how sex affects your feelings. Sex is exciting, but you feel tentative afterward. You worry about whether your partner found you appealing, and you worry about what the next step after sex will be.

    Analyze the way that you're thinking about the other person. You think constantly about the way that the person smiles, the way he or she says your name or the way that your partner looks at you. You think obsessively about these details, and you try to decide how the person feels about you based on these somewhat trivial qualities.

    Look at how you handle conflict. The person you like disagrees with you, and you wonder if the relationship is over. You wonder whether you know the person at all or whether your impressions have been wrong all along.

Consider your feelings about moving the relationship forward. You want to ask the person to date exclusively, but you're nervous about what he or she might say. You're afraid that asking for commitment may frighten the person away. Your feelings aren't deep enough for love; you're probably more in the realm of infatuation.

Part 3: When You're Feeling Hot, Bothered and in Lust

Examine whether you treat the object of your interest as a person or a thing:

If you're looking to catch someone as a prize or to get someone to go to bed with you, you're treating the person like a thing, and you're probably experiencing lust.


Evaluate how secure you feel:

Security isn't important to you; you're more interested in the score and in how great it feels to be physical together. After you get what you want, you can take or leave the other person.

Think about how long you've been in the relationship:

You may just be meeting the person you're interested in, or you may have known the person for a long time. In either situation, the relationship is more about fulfilling your sexual desires than it is about creating a partnership.

Observe how sex affects your feelings:

You have sex with the person, and even though it's great, your mind has already moved onto something else. You wonder how long you have to hold the person afterward, and you're already thinking about scoring your next sexual encounter. Or you want to keep having sex with the person--at least, until somebody else comes along.

Analyze the way that you're thinking about the other person:
You're trying to figure out what you have to do to get this person to invite you up for a nightcap. Your focus is on knocking down the person's guard so that he or she will be open to a sexual encounter.

Look at how you handle conflict: 

Who cares if you have an argument? You can find someone new without the hassle of bickering and fighting. The sex is great, but it's not worth the baggage--unless it's make-up sex after one of those passionate arguments.

Consider your feelings about moving the relationship forward:
In reality, you could care less about getting exclusive with your partner. You're satisfied to date other people, and you don't care if the other person also has multiple partners. Even though you may feel jealous if your lover finds another partner, your lack of commitment suggests lust, not love

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About the Author:
Sharol Christen D Silva

Sharol is an ambitious guy. He is perusing his B.E (CIVIL) at MIT Kundapura.

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FB: Facebook.com/sharol.c.dsilva 

Contact: sharolchristen@gmail.com

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